6 Red Flags in Dating App Profiles
When you’re single, dating is hard. It’s even harder to find the people to date. White dating apps can help, they can be a source of frustration and often feel like a waste of time. Thankfully, there are a few things you can spot in a guy’s dating app profile that might tell us he’s not worth matching with. Here are six of them:
Too Sarcastic
As online dating profiles go, there is a fine line between sarcasm and showing good humor. Personally, my own profile has been on the wrong side a few times. It’s hard to be funny in a little blurb and sarcasm is a tool that makes it a lot easier.
Use your best judgment. If the sarcasm is hitting you over the head, doesn’t make you laugh, and overall comes off as negative - take it as a sign.
Pessimistic about dating
I can’t believe I even have to say this but no one should be airing their grievances on their dating profile. And if they do, run!
Read the room, dude! I get it. Dating is hard but this is not the place. If someone is willing to complain about how much they loathe dating, online or otherwise, on their online dating profile, they are all but guaranteed to have a negative attitude about almost everything else.
Promising the World
When his profile is all how he’s one of the few guys who still practice chivalry, he’s going to treat me like a queen, sweep me off my feet, and we will have a wonderful life together – it is not a good sign.
Instead of telling me about himself, he’s promising me results, which is great for sales copy but he’s not a product and I’m not a consumer. I’m a person looking for a meaningful relationship and to do that I need to know about him, not a generic version of a fairytale.
Inspirational
The guy with a bunch of positive quotes and inspirational prose in his profile always freaks me out. I get that he wants to come off as positive but is that his whole personality? No, because no one on earth is single faceted, especially not completely positive.
When I see those profiles, I always ask – what is he compensating for? He is compensating for a lack of emotional intelligence, especially around the tough stuff. This guy will very likely struggle with communicating difficult topics, processing negative emotions, and establishing boundaries.
I’m not against any and all positivity on profiles but it shouldn’t read like you are a life coach.
Very Specific in What He’s Looking For
I am all for putting in a line or two about what you are looking for in a partner but I’ve seen way too many profiles that read like a job description. Not only does this not tell me anything about this guy but I’m almost certainly going to disappoint him.
Even if I magically check off the laundry list of things he wants (funny, smart, fit, attractive, loves to hike, can cook, blah blah…), someone with this mentality has a very specific idealistic image of his partner and their relationship. Of course, that’s not how relationships or people work. We’re dynamic, complicated; we contradict ourselves and we evolve. We need to be prepared for that in relationships.
Negging
This should go without saying, but I fear that too many of us are inferring negging as hilarious sarcasm.
Telling me that “no one cares” about my yoga pose is both dismissive of my interests and really boring. It doesn’t tell me anything about his personality. If his goal was to give insight to his interests, rather, non-interests (he can’t stand yoga, or women photographing their practice, inexplicably), then he failed. Even if I also despised yoga (I don’t), this wouldn’t be information I would need to see if we’d hit it off. We can’t build a relationship of “hating things”. Imagine our first conversation – just complaining back and forth. No thank you!
Take any of these “archetypes” with a grain of salt. They are generalizations. People are multidimensional. And dating app profiles are really hard to write (they are for me and I’m a writer). What I’ve listed above may be signs of something more but they don’t have to be deal-breakers. Feel free to explore. You can be cognizant of these ‘flags’ when you’re swiping.
