The Ridiculousness That Is 'Too Hot To Handle' On Netflix
Love Is Blind walked so that Too Hot To Handle could run.
If you aren’t sure what I’m talking about, Too Hot To Handle is a reality show on Netflix that people are calling the ‘new’ Love Is Blind, which is another reality show that aired on Netflix about two months ago.
I think these two shows are being compared for the following reasons:
They’re both super dramatic
They both involve a social experiment of sorts
They’re both centered around people looking for love
Okay, maybe #3 is a stretch since the cast members on Too Hot To Handle are really just looking to f*ck, which is kind of what the show is all about. Everyone is flown to an island where they think they’re going to be filmed drinking, hooking up and, if they know anything about reality tv, fighting. However, upon their arrival, they learn that there is a cash prize of $100,000 – IF they abstain from any sexual acts for the entire month. That means no sex (obvs), no kissing, no “heavy petting”, and no masturbating!!!! If they break the rules, then the entire group suffers and loses money. A kiss costs the group $3,000 and sex can cost up to $20,000, and so on. The idea is that without sex, the castmates will hopefully become better people through getting to know one another through deep conversations vs. deep throating during a blow job, as an example (had to).
I’m not, like, a perv (let’s hope that goes without saying) – but even I would find these rules extremely difficult to abide by when I’m literally on an island, drunk, and basically living on top of other young, hot people. As you can imagine, the idiots people on this show have a tough time with it too, which is where the drama and ridiculousness unfold.
Let’s take a look below at the characters who made the ridiculousness and drama so amazing. While they contribute nothing to society, I am happy to be a fan of each and every one of them (minus Haley – none for you!!!) and will continue to follow their lives as any good reality TV fan should.
Harry and Francesca??????????
Francesca is the girl on the show that every guy wants; which *take notes* proves to me that every guy really just wants a girl that looks like a porn star. But I digress! She is 25 years old and from Vancouver, British Columbia.
Harry is a 23-year-old child/f*ckboy from Australia. He’s definitely attractive and tall, but in, like, a One Direction-when-they-first-got-popular kind of way. He’s a total sex-crazed goofball and everything about him screams “I still suck on my mama’s titties.” We’ve all dated a ‘Harry’ until we realized we actually have self-worth. You know?
This was taken during a workshop where they had to write the mean names that they’ve each been called on their bodies. Harry was called “arrogant.” Shocker.
Despite Harry being a complete frat boy loser, Francesca falls head over heels for him. HAHA. Like, not saying Francesca is the brightest bulb by ANY means, but it’s truly lost on me how someone like her who has her choice of ANY guy goes for the young, selfish loudmouth because of their “connection.” I guess this shows us who Francesca really is too?
It goes without saying that these two are the ones who consistently break the rules and cost the group money. In the end, though, they’re able to win the money back by spending a night in the private suite with zero physical contact – so yayyy I guess good for them they were finally able to last one night without groping?
It also goes without saying they’ve since broken up. Oh well, next.
Kelz ‘The Accountant’
I’m kind of obsessed with Kelz. He’s an accountant and football player from London (still confused about what ‘football’ translates to in the UK – like is it soccer?? – but w/e this isn’t ESPN). He comes off as cold at first, but then you realize he’s kind of just...dare I say...sensible? He’s in it for the money and won’t break the rules no matter how many fake titties are thrown in his face. Every time he finds out the group (aka Francesca and Harry) has cost him money he says, “for fuck’s sake!!” and I am going to start saying this every time I see someone closer than 6 feet apart in NYC.
Haley, The Sorority Girl From Florida
I don’t even want to give this girl another shred of fame, but I would like to pop on here and say that she is dumb AF. We learn right away that she does not know where Australia is on a map. It’s a good thing she hasn’t graduated from college yet, because methinks she has a hell of a lot left to learn. She is extremely rude and doesn’t care about anyone in the cast besides Francesca (the narrator makes it seem like she’s in love with her, which I believe), so she gets kicked off pretty early in. BYE!
Haley and Francesca making out <3
Chloe Calling Herself Dumb
On the other hand, we have Chloe who calls herself dumb, but who I don’t think actually is. Chloe is a 21-year-old from the UK. She’s beautiful, but the guys aren’t as obsessed with her as they are Francesca. Sad! Anyway, the more screen time Chloe had, the more I felt like she wasn’t dumb at all. We see her breaking up with Bryce (we’ll get to him later), and I thought she handled the situation gracefully. She tells him that what she wants and what she needs are two different things and honestly, it seemed pretty self-aware to me. We also see her confronting one of the new guys, Luke, who she had a crush on but who totally led her on and backstabbed her by asking Francesca on a date instead. I loved how strong-willed she was in breaking up with him. We can all take a page from this girl, but I just wish she had more confidence in herself intellectually!!! One day, Chloe.
Bryce Having “Sex Everyday”
Now over to Bryce. Bryce is a Jewish boy from LA who lives on a boat. I have to say, I did think it was funny when Haley said that she couldn’t tell if Bryce living on a boat “meant that he’s broke or that he’s really rich.” But enough about her – Bryce is an aspiring musician and comes off as a playboy at first saying that he “has sex every day” and “picks up a new girl every night.” What? Does this not get tiring?
But then, we realize through his relationship with Chloe that he’s pretty awkward and kinda sweet and ACTUALLY has emotions. I think maybe if Bryce leaned in a little more to who he really is – which is NOT a playboy! – he’d find more inner confidence and maybe do better with the ladies. But hey I’m no therapist.
David Is a Weird Workout Person
David is another hot AF guy from London who comes off as very sweet and pretty normal. But then I found his Instagram – SO disappointing! He’s one of those guys that promotes healthy living and weird workouts and honestly, I’m so turned off. Oh well. :(
Literally ew
#Sharonda
Cute couples are so boring
Sharron and Rhonda are, IMO, the cutest couple on the show – which is kinda what makes them not that interesting, though. They are both attractive (good for them) and are able to abstain from most sexual activities, so they don’t cost the group too much money. Rhonda has a kid so I hope the relationship works out for her and her son! And I hope she makes lots of Instagram money to support him.
One noteworthy thing, though, is when Sharron in the very beginning says he is proud that he has a picture of his penis next to an air freshener can. We can let our imaginations run free with that one.
Sharing Beds
I want to make one last comment that I think it’s weird AF that they did not even get separate beds in this house! If you notice they literally have the men sleeping together. Kelz is SIX FOOT SIX and he is sleeping with another grown man. Truly no words. Whatever production company brought this to Netflix, I thank you – but it’s janky AF and do better next time!!
I shared this over on www.sydneymkaplan.com too!
