5 Signs it's Time to End a Friendship
What no one tells you about ‘adulting’ is that the older you get, the more your friendships are tested. Once we graduate college and enter the real world, we’re simply not as intertwined with our friends. Our lives take us each on totally different paths, and it can be hard to maintain old friendships while also experiencing such vast personal changes.
But at what point is the friendship not worth it? When should we actually take action to reevaluate the friendship and decide if it’s something worth holding onto? The funny thing about friendship is that you aren’t really obligated to your friends in any way. It goes without saying that there are emotions there, but unlike with significant others and family members, there isn’t really much that holds two friends together – besides, of course, both of them wanting to be there for one another. So it certainly can get confusing when you find yourself at a crossroads with a friend, since there aren’t any clear rules on how much you should push for a friendship.
Though it can be extremely tough, sometimes the best thing to do is step away. So here are five signs that it might be that time for you and your friend:
You’re having the same fight over and over again
Having the same fight time and time again is the tell-tale sign that neither one of you is satisfied in the friendship. Clearly, whatever you want from her, she cannot give, and whatever she wants from you, you cannot give – at least right now. Truth is, you’d both probably feel a huge weight off of your shoulders once you stop beating a dead horse (which sounds extremely negative, but you get the expression!!) and give each other some space.
It feels awkward when you’re together
If you’re having this problem, at least it kind of makes the decision easy for you. Awkwardness is for random strangers in elevators and Uber drivers. Not for you and your friends. I mean, what good is THAT? Sounds like more pressure than fun, and we ain’t got no time for that. The awkwardness can always go away, but you’ll know in your gut if the friendship can turn itself back around or not.
You feel judged
If you find yourself withholding information from your friend in fear of being judged, then it might be time to admit that you two aren’t necessarily the best fit for each other at this time in your lives. Friendship is about being open and sharing vulnerabilities – you definitely should not fear being judged, made fun of or made to feel insecure for sharing something with a friend. Definitely try expressing that you feel this way, and see if things change. But if you can’t see eye-to-eye and are continuing to feel down about yourself after confronting your friend, then I wouldn’t feel pressure to keep trying.
There are more lows than highs
This one sounds obvious, but sometimes it can be hard to make this judgment call. When you’re in a low with a friend, really take a step back and think about how many tough times you guys have experienced together. If you experience lows, say, once every three months (and I mean real lows of not speaking to one another vs. small, petty fights), then I think it might be time to reevaluate if you guys are enhancing or taking away from each other’s lives.
You can never agree on a plan
Not agreeing on a plan sounds trivial, but I feel like this is another sign that you guys are growing apart and might need a break from one another. If you always want to go out, and she always wants to stay in and consequently gets mad at you for wanting to go out, for example – then this doesn’t exactly sound like a friendship made in heaven. It goes without saying that this does NOT mean that you should avoid friendships with women who are in a different life stages than you are, but if you and your friend have polar opposite likes and dislikes, it’s okay to kind of be like, “Imma do me over here. Bye.”*
*In the nicest way possible, of course! We are still classy ladies here.
